Assembly Late Night

The Supervisor had to call in sick today so as to build up enough rest to listen to this marathon session in the Assembly. But before we cover the day's happenings, why is it that these clowns on the floor, half of whom couldn't form a coherent argument in the middle of the afternoon following lunch, insist on beginning debates after midnight and on an empty stomach? It's like listening to the Napoleon Dynamite Debate Society. Gosh!

According to various sources, here's the sort of thing you have to look forward to when Wisconsin Eye goes on the air:

• Mark Pocan has politely reminded Brett Davis in his speech tonight that his career as an Assemblyman, if it hasn't been ruined by leadership's unwillingness to give the guy anything to run on, will most certainly be ruined by a vote in favor of concealed carry. Davis has successfully amended the bill in a blatant attempt to buy himself political cover for voting for the bill. Davis and Andy Lamb are the two likeliest casualties in a southeast Wisconsin appeasement strategy that seems to have taken hold in the Assembly. Dear conservative nutjobs of the Milwaukee suburbs, you will not get anything passed through the Legislature after we lose people like Davis, Lamb, Hahn, Loeffelholz, and are back in the minority. While you continue to try and create the Republican equivalent of the Aryan race, you continually put outstate Republicans and vulnerables in increasingly tenuous positions. Just thought you'd like to know what's going out here in the rest of the state, you know, the part that revolves around Waukesha County.
  

• Speaking of issues that help outstate Republicans, ethanol is on the Assembly calendar for Thursday, after weeks of hemming and hawing by Assembly Leadership. Now, mind you, ethanol polls at similar levels of support as gay marriage, TABOR, and concealed carry. The only difference is that there's no Mark Belling or Charlie Sykes in Medford or Prairie du Chien to scream at Republicans and tell them to harrass their legislators. Your car will run just fine with ethanol and you won't really be spending any more at the gas station. The only difference is that someone in Wisconsin might benefit from your purchase as opposed to someone in Oman. Is that really so bad? This will be a chance for southeast Wisconsin Republicans to show that they are willing to be on the receiving end of the same sort of populist sentiment they successfully drummed up in pushing the gas tax indexing repeal - a nut that I will not give that blind squirrel Tom Reynolds credit for stumbling into. Also, keep your eyes open for John Gard's vote on ethanol. He has the potential to fall into the Gabe Waffelholz trap and vote against a bill he cosponsored, that his district loves, and that vulnerables like Davis, Lamb, Debi Towns, Gene Hahn, and Karl Van Roy are all signed onto.
  

• Phil Montgomery is playing solitaire.

• Robin Vos is playing Party Poker on his state-issued computer. Apparently single guys dig poker and birth control. At least he's not on Match.com looking for another white or Latino woman to go skinny dipping with him or enjoy a thunderstorm or some erotica. You listed all those as turn-ons, right Robin?
  

• Most of the Southeast Wisconsin GOP contingent is on cruise control, sitting in the parlor and screwing around. Obviously without Mark Belling awake to pull the strings on the marionettes they can do nothing but sit around lifelessly in the parlor.
  

• Carol Owens is clearly asleep. Is anyone surprised?

• Sam Kerkman is sleeping in the back with her baby. Between her and Jennifer Shilling, how soon until we have to have an Assembly rule on breastfeeding in the chamber? And will the social conservatives in the GOP caucus attempt to block such a gratuitous show of skin?
  

• Speaking of, Gary Hebl is babysitting Jennifer Shilling's baby. Undoubtedly he is rehearsing more ways to fluster Sheryl Albers in meetings of the Assembly Committee on Property Rights and Land Management, also known as the Committee on All of Sheryl Albers' Bills and Nothing Else.
  

• The only people really paying any attention are Dave Zien and the concealed carry supporters.
  

Man, it's amazing what anyone can see from the gallery, watching through the lobby doors, or at home on their computer, for that matter. Now I know why they're all terrified of Wisconsin Eye.

By the way, Belling was totally wrong today when he said that it's better to call a legislative office than email. Imagine your workday if people did nothing but call you and interrupt your actual work to express an opinion. It'd probably piss you off after awhile, right? Maybe you'd just turn the ringer off and stop answering the phone. It takes legislative staff three seconds to print your email, then put it in a bill folder that your Senator or Representative probably takes up to the floor. It takes them two minutes to write down your name, address, phone number, and message. Email is just as effective as a phone call and it has the positive effect of not making legislative staff absolute loathe your existence for wasting their time. Believe it or not, staff actually has other things to do than listen to you tell them something you could have said just as easily via email.

Me, I'll be joining Carol Owens now. Someone just push my button for me if there's a vote and wake me when the whole thing is over.