Democrats get their day

I'm sure there at least three of you out there right now - that'd be 75% of my readership - wondering when I'm ever going to take the Democrats to task for something.

For you, today is your lucky day.

Picking on Wisconsin Democrats - especially those who reside like cockroaches in the Legislature - is like teasing the retarded kid in class when you're 12. You're tempted to do it because it's so easy, but you've finally developed enough of a social conscience that you know you probably shouldn't.

I blame Margaret Baecker, chair of the 3rd Congressional District Democratic Party, for what is about to happen. Surely the Democrats will understand that I am going to completely abdicate any sense of personal responsibility for what follows. They've built whole tomes of social policy around nobody being responsible for their own actions. Works for me!

Baecker put out an absolutely pathetic release trying to cash in on, of all things, the fact that Mike Huebsch had his car stolen. Read "Hey Mike, Pull Over the Car" here. It's not even funny.

Satire is all in good fun, but this effort is weak. Margaret goofs on Huebsch because someone stole his car. It's a good thing we don't live in Louisiana or I'm sure Margaret would be penning great releases like "Hey Mike, Why Is Your House Still Underwater?"

Undoubtedly, the guy who stole Huebsch's car is a Democrat. What proof do I have of his party affiliation? C'mon. A car theft? In Milwaukee? At night? Play the odds here.

Do we know what Gwen Moore's son was doing that night? He's certainly got a way with GOP vehicles.

Margaret, here are ten things off the top of my head on your side of the aisle that are way funnier than grand theft auto:

1. "Frank Boyle, Pull Over the Car!" An intoxicated Representative from the 73rd pissing his pants at a police station last winter.

1a. "Russ Decker, Pull Over the Car!" The Senator from the 29th getting blitzed at a Tavern League fundraiser and then driving one of the Senator from the 28th's staffers home. Personally, I bet the Felon from the 16th told him to do it. I mean, the Felon's told him how to do everything else since he was first elected - allegedly. Why should we expect anything different here?

1b. "Peg Lautenschlager, Pull Over the Car!" Man that video is funny stuff. Can't wait to see more of that next summer when Kathy Falk goes nuclear in the last two weeks of the primary.

2. The Assembly Democratic Caucus, in a true sign of loyalty and team spirit, waits for Shirley Krug's mom to die before deposing her as Minority Leader. Didn't they pick a replacement during the funeral? You stay classy, Assembly Dems! And before I forget...

1c. "Shirley Krug, Pull Over the Car!"

3. The Representative from the 64th. Rhymes with... well, let's just say it ain't "winner."

4. 39 seats in the Assembly. And I swear, our side been trying its damndest to LOSE seats the last two cycles. You guys can't even beat the Representative from the 49th! The guy can barely complete sentences! He voted against one of his own bills last session! Hell, for all we know he himself probably voted for Arlene Siss last year!

5. Any bill by the Representative from the 72nd. The USS Liberty? State laws to set limits on textbook weights? Not only has the guy not lived in his district in over two decades, he barely inhabits Planet Earth anymore! By the way Representative, as you're busy reading this, I am formulating a clandestine plan to steal your library card number. Call the cops!

6. Could the Representative from the 75th please do one better than sweatpants on session days? Show some respect for the institution. I'd even settle for stirrup pants, which have been on clearance at TJ Maxx since 1991 and are dutifully worn by a few Republican fashionistas as well. But please, no tapered leg jeans. I beg you, not that.

7. The Representative from the 74th. We love his columns. We just wish he would stop filibustering himself after making his point. You can make a point in defend it in 200 words! Try it sometime!

8. You all bragged and bragged about the caucus scandal and how we were the crooks, and what's the score right now? 2 felons to none, your lead. Good friggin' work.

9. You have a Lieutenant Governor who has been resigned to the kiddie table of government - by her own party's leader. What's worse is that you let her remind people that she is irrelevant ALL THE TIME. Enough with the art shows in your office, Babs! This isn't fourth grade! Put the Ronald McDonald orange drink down!

10. The Republicans could invite the whole Senate Dem caucus over to the Assembly and the Republicans would still have seven more seats than they do.

Now it's time to play along at home! I would encourage you to submit your "stupidest Democratic Party of Wisconsin moment" in my comments section or via email at playgroundpolitics at gmail dot com. Anonymity is presumed for all entries unless indicated otherwise. I will select a winner on Monday. All efforts are welcomed.

Wanna suck some Cork?

First, pretend to be Chris Burke. You know, the guy with Down's Syndrome that played Corky Thatcher on "Life Goes On." You remember that show. You thought Kellie Martin was hot in those big red glasses. Now go onto an instant messaging client while pretending to be Chris Burke, and try to get gay men to have sex with you. Then, unbekownst to them, post the conversations and the photos these guys send you on your blog.

Great idea, right? Too bad someone has beaten you to it. Check it out at Corky's Treehouse.

Battle of the Intellectual Giants... hypothetical, of course.

What if we were to have a legislative competition in which each side in the Assembly has to pick its six best minds and lock horns in a public debate on policy issues? Who would the two sides pick? This was the hypothetical scenario running through my mind as I was hunkering down to watch the Packers lose yet again on Sunday afternoon. Don't ask me why. Laughing at the Legislature is easier than confronting what's really there - just like watching the green and gold.

I consulted with a respected GOP insider via Instant Messenger to discuss this matter prior to kickoff. Interestingly, our list of Democrats was unanimous and reached without consultation:

• Sheldon Wasserman (doctor)
• Tom Nelson (wonk, Princeton grad)
• Tony Staskunas (lawyer)
• Louis Molepske (lawyer)
• Gary Sherman (lawyer)
• Jon Richards (lawyer)

We thought about including Spencer Black, just because his mere presence would throw the Republicans off their game. However, he is too busy planning his run for governor to prepare for such an intellectual endeavor. By the way Spence, if you run, can you let me know first? I'm still trying to get on McBride's Blog Scoop Gallery. The Avery photos with Doyle weren't good enough, I guess. (And as long as I've digressed, I enjoyed McBride's appearance this morning on Charlie's TV show, along with other bloggers. Good stuff. The whole exercise was a bit sycophantic, as usual, but at least the topic was interesting.)

The Republicans, however, proved a trickier matter:

Recess Supervisor: i am using quiz bowl as an example of the republicans' intellectual ineptitude
GOP insider: ha
Recess Supervisor: i didn't have any problem thinking of six dems to compete
Recess Supervisor: i am struggling to find six republicans
Recess Supervisor: if you had to pick the six smartest members of the Assembly GOP caucus who would you pick?
GOP insider: oh Jesus
GOP insider: Jensen
GOP insider: Gottlieb
GOP insider: Gielow
Recess Supervisor: ok those are my 3
Recess Supervisor: now i'm stuck
GOP insider: yeah
GOP insider: now I have to look at a list

Unfortunately, the son of God is not a member of the GOP caucus and therefore is ineligible. That leaves us with Scott Jensen and Mark Gottlieb. Upon further discussion, we decided to leave Curt Gielow on even though he's pushing single-payer health care, and accordingly would not be considered a Republican by most members of his own caucus. We also decided to include Joan Ballweg, because unlike nearly all of her colleagues she's actually been a successful small business owner. Gregg Underheim made the cut even though he too is a RINO according to the reactionaries.

I invite you to nominate a sixth and leave the suggestion in the comments section. We're completely stuck. After much debate, we could not find one of the remaining 55 GOP members of the lower house that we were comfortable with. Here's a list, if it helps. If you have thoughts on our other selections, share those too. Surely the intelligence of legislators is a matter that most anyone who interacts with them has an opinion on.

Dude, where's his car?

Rep. Mike Huebsch's "sweet ride" is no more. A moment of silence, please.

While some legislators pump their $88 a day per diems into some pretty fancy vehicles, Huebsch instead opted for a white, 1990 Oldsmobile 88. It has a red velvet interior and 245,000 miles, which is exactly why nobody could figure out why someone bothered to steal it in Milwaukee two weeks ago. Then again, it is Milwaukee.

Now, we receive word from Tom Sheehan that this testament to legislative frugality is no more.

You can read the article here. Congratulations to Rep. Huebsch for at least maintaining a sense of humor about the whole thing. Maybe if you've been good, Rep. Huebsch, St. Nick will bring you a gently used Ford Festiva.

Oh look everyone, it's the Thanksgiving Turkey.

Just when you thought it was safe to leave work for Thanksgiving, Sen. Tom Reynolds served up a bill on Wednesday afternoon that may well be the biggest turkey of the legislative session. Instead of paraphrasing, I'm going to let this old bird gobble for himself. Here's his email, in all its Butterball-like beauty:

------------------------------

TO: Legislative Colleagues

FROM: Senator Tom Reynolds

DATE: November 23, 2005

RE: Co-Sponsorship of LRB 3566: Use of the terms “BCE” and “CE” in Textbooks

There is a recent trend by textbook authors and publishers to replace the terms “B.C.” and “A.D.” with the terms “BCE” (Before the Common Era) and “CE” (Common Era) in school textbooks. This politically correct revision of well-established historical references is simply an attempt to sterilize educational materials from even the most innocuous religious references. This trend is unnecessary and should be discouraged. This bill prohibits school boards from adopting textbooks as part of its curriculum that use the terms “BCE” and “CE.”

If you wish to co-sponsor LRB 3566, please contact my office at 6-2512 no later than Friday, December 2nd.

Analysis by the Legislative Reference Bureau

This bill prohibits a school board from adopting any textbook that uses the terms “CE” or “common era,” and “BCE” or “before the common era,” instead of “AD” and “BC,” when referring to years.

------------------------------

Let's look at just one of those "innocuous religious references," shall we?

One of Sen. Reynolds' preferred phrases is anno domini. Now, if Reynolds understands even a little bit of Latin (no Tom, that's not the language spoken by Latinos), he'd know that anno domini means "in the year of our Lord." That's "our Lord" in the Christian sense. It'd be like if the Pledge of Allegiance included the phrase "one nation, under Jesus." But see now, if I'm Buddhist, Jesus is not my Lord and Savior. If I'm Muslim, he's a prophet, but not the son of God. Reynolds' innocuous little phrase is actually anything but: it's a proclamation of belief in the Christian God.

Secondly, the BC/AD designation has nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. The Gospels indicate that Jesus was born near the end of Herod's reign. The BC/AD system uses the last year of Herod's rule as the birth year of Jesus, even though we have no convincing historical evidence to prove that indeed is the case. And on top of that, early scholars screwed up the dates of Herod's reign. Herod died in 4 BC. So not only does Sen. Reynolds want to further entrench Christian doctrine in our schools, he wants to institutionalize a factually inaccurate base point for the determination of dates! He would prefer a dating system that forces kids in religious history classes to say that "Christ was born no sooner than 4 years Before Christ." Excellent, Senator. That's not the least bit stupid.

So to summarize: if you're non-Christian, BC/AD a is religious bitch slap. If you're a Christian, it's just plain inaccurate.

This bill is another classic example of the persecution complex that fundamentalist nutjobs love to perpetuate. The use of BC/BCE has nothing to do with political correctness. It's not an attempt to "sterilize education materials."

Here's what it's about: it's about not forcing non-Christians to worship a god that isn't theirs when reading a date. It's about showing simple, decent human respect for the religious beliefs of others. Apparently Sen. Reynolds thinks that is unreasonable.

Why does that not surprise me? If anyone doubts Reynolds' aggressiveness in pushing his faith, I would encourage you to take a look at this article over at Watchdog Milwaukee. Reynolds runs with Ralph Ovadal, one of the biggest zealots and hate mongers here in God's Kingdom.

Earth to Reynolds: most of the world is not Christian. Why do you believe that it is your prerogative to force non-Christian students in Wisconsin to worship your god when reading their social studies book? If I didn't know better, Senator, I think your bill may well border on establishment of religion by the state. Your bill implicitly mandates the use of anno domini by explicitly excluding from curricula the only other widely used system of dating. It's one thing for government to sit by and not express a preference. But of course, that's not how you roll.

Anyway, enough of picking on Sen. Reynolds. I don't want to encroach on the Spice Boys' territory. I would, however, like to publicly invite Sen. Reynolds to come on my blog and explain to my many readers why this bill is necessary, and why I should not begin begging and pleading with Leah Vukmir or Brian Fraley to deliver us from a second term of his madness. Surely, Senator, your former staff - you know, the people that saved you from yourself for two years - would be happy to supply me with more stories of your wacky antics. That is, of course, if the Spice Boys haven't signed them to an exclusive agreement. Those Spice Boys do seem to like you, Sen. Reynolds.

Sen. Reynolds, I will give you space on my blog to defend your position in detail, as much as you want. Just email your response to me at playgroundpolitics (at) gmail.com . I will be happy to print it in its entirety and you or your staff may confirm in the comments section of that post that I have indeed posted your complete and unedited remarks.

And readers, while holding your breath awaiting the Senator's response, feel free to check out the lively discussion that Wikipedia users had regarding the same matter.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Notes on the Blackboard

Ragnar Mentaire - whether that's a real name or pen name, I don't know - has a fantastic post on the makeup of the Wisconsin Legislature on his new blog, I AM THE FORCE. My favorite part:

I encourage everyone to go watch the Legislature in debate. You'll see childish name calling, refusal to listen to members of the other party, no real debate on public policy, and a deadening lack of intellect focused on the issues of the day. And they're actually making law!!!!!! Though most of them are probably not all that aware of what they're adopting. Each caucus is focused on either winning or blaming the side that won, and no one is really paying much attention. With so many unspectacular and spoiled individuals, is it any surprise that we find ourselves here?

But we always need to keep in mind that we get exactly what we deserve. The bums could be replaced if the voters actually cared enough about their government to act. But they don't care, and are unlikely to any time soon. So don't worry, distinguished members of the Wisconsin Legislature, your secret is safe with me.

Secondly, my thanks to Xoff for taking interest in my characterization of the Republican gubernatorial nominees. Presumably it was that, and not my near endorsement of Spencer Black, that got me the free hype.

And finally, in relation to that post, I did a little homework to find out when the last time Wisconsin had a college dropout serving in the state's highest office. The answer appears to be Walter Goodland, who was governor from 1943-47. Goodland attended Lawrence College for one year before going to teach in rural schools. He ultimately was admitted to the bar and practiced law. If this were SportsCenter, I would run the following graphic below video footage of Scott Walker (Marquette, Class of Did Not Finish):

Wisconsin's last 13 governors all had college degrees.

Personally, considering the complexity of issues facing today's politicians, it is my own personal rule not to vote for any candidate, regardless of party, that does not have a college degree. Ragnar's post, linked above, explains just the reason why. So for me, I'm left with two-faced Mark, Marty Schreiber's white puppet Jimmy D., and Spencer Black.

Hey Spencer, is it too early to start an exploratory committee? I would like to chair it. We could call it "Friends and Neighbors Encouraging Spencer Black to Run for Governor." The name isn't too long either. Trust me.

Mark Green: The Human Contradiction

Today, we got the textbook example of why Mark Green should not be elected governor, or dogcatcher, for that matter. Mark Green pathologically talks out of both sides of his mouth.

Green's campaign website will tell you that he has "worked continuously to overcome a broken budget process and put a stop to runaway government spending." And part of that crusade to stop runaway spending apparently involves saving a program that amounts to nothing more than $2 billion in cash giveaways to dairy farmers who can't live on all the other friggin' government subsidies they get.

Once you take off all the spin, the MILC (Milk Income Loss Contract) program is designed to give cash to dairy farmers when domestic milk prices fall below a certain level. I know there are thousands of other industries in this country that would probably love to have a similar arrangement with the federal government. Unfortunately, they don't have fiscal conservatives like Mark Green helping them out. (MJS reporter Patrick McIlheran wrote a great column on the cows that go oink back in October. Reading it is worth your time.)

Green knows he can't get this pig of a program past his colleagues. Even they're not that stupid. So, absent a majority in Congress willing to support this kind of price-support racket, what does he do?

Oh, that's right. Green announced today that he'll take full advantage of the budget process to try and get the program inserted into the budget bill during conference committee. And of course, the bill that returns to the House from conference can't be amended, so his colleagues are powerless to strip from the budget bill a program they never voted to include.

So in one fell swoop, Green manages to exploit an enormous loophole in the budget process to circumvent peer review of a horrible idea and waste billions of our tax dollars supporting an industry that dumps truckloads of money into his campaign account. And then he has the gall to tell us that this is good for us.

No Mark, your constant meddling in the free market is bad for us. It is, however, good for your campaign account, which is probably why you do it.

Of course, if that wasn't enough, Green issues another release - same day - bragging about what a good little fiscal conservative he is.

So sayeth the hypocrite...

Over the last seven years, I've worked very hard to put our nation's fiscal house in order by fighting to reduce spending, cut taxes, and get the size of government under control. The budget reconciliation package I voted for tonight gives us one of the best opportunities we've had in a long time to continue those efforts. We absolutely must bring the size of government in line with taxpayers' ability to pay, and this bill is an important step in the fight to rein in excessive government spending. It also empowers states to take on Medicaid reform – something that's long overdue. I was proud to vote for the package tonight, and I'll be proud to continue our efforts to reduce spending in the future.

Now contrast this to his MILC release, where the other side of his mouth said:

Whenever milk prices have dropped, the MILC program has been the saving grace for folks most at risk of losing their farms... Over the last three years, it has served as a desperately-needed safety net for hundreds of family farms across our state, preserving Wisconsin's agricultural tradition. This commitment to extend the program is a win for those farmers, and our great state.

Today, as Green was paying back his campaign contributors with a little pork, he paid for it by:

• Cutting 300,000 low-income families out of the food stamp program
• Increasing fees and interest rates on student loans to the tune of $14.3 billion
• Cutting funding for child enforcement, making it harder for women to collect money from deadbeat dads

You know what, Mark? Food stamps are a desperately-needed safety net for a lot of America's working poor who are struggling to get back on their feet economically. Affordable student loans are a desperately-needed safety net that give millions of students from lower and middle-income families access to schools they may not otherwise be able to attend because they weren't a doctor's son, like you.

You are a hypocrite of the highest order. You talk out of both sides of your mouth. You call yourself a fiscal conservative, but you'll work to spend billions of tax dollars bailing out farmers that can't run a profitable business to save their lives. You know what, Mark? A lot of those farmers should go out of business. We'll do just fine without them. But what about that kid whose dad is nowhere to be found, Mark? That kid didn't choose his or her starting place in life. The farmer did. So you punish the kid by taking away nutrition benefits and making him pay more for college. Meanwhile, you reward the idiot farmer who's too stupid to find another line of work.

So here you go, Wisconsin. Your choices for governor next year are:

• A two-faced hypocrite from Green Bay whose chief-of-staff took a bunch of freebies from a lobbyist who is under indictment for wire fraud and conspiracy
  
• A college dropout from Milwaukee whose friend and fundraiser is under indictment for extortion and mail and wire fraud.
• Jim Doyle
  

Maybe Spencer Black isn't such a bad option after all...

Magnum, PU

Today, Dave Magnum stood before God and man at the State Capitol and told us all that he enjoyed losing so much the first time, well, he's signing up to get his ass kicked again. It was quite a sight.

Sorry, I apparently was reading between the lines again. Here is Magnum's actual announcement speech.

Magnum, in announcing his second bid for Congress, has apparently been blinded by all the smoke blown at him by B-grade political consultants desperate to stay off of unemployment. I have all the numbers Dave needs in order to understand that it is not worth his while to run against four-term incumbent and the nicest socialist you'll ever meet, Tammy Baldwin.

For that matter, it's not worth anyone's while. Nobody is going to beat Tammy Baldwin, and for that you can thank Mark Green, Paul Ryan, Jim Sensenbrenner, and Tom Petri for helping to craft a congressional redistricting plan in 2002 that would ensure the entire delegation's survival for the next ten years.

Back in 2000, UW-Madison professor John Sharpless beat Tammy Baldwin in every county in the district (other than Dane) by an equal or larger margin than Baldwin's ten-point victory in Dane. It wasn't enough to put Sharpless over the top.

Sharpless won Dodge County by 30. Richland by 24. Sauk by 14. He was quite possibly the perfect Republican candidate to run in what was then a swing district. He was articulate and charismatic and moderate. He also doesn't have a sleep-inducing Sominex baritone like Magnum's over-rehearsed radio voice. And he doesn't have name like a porn star. But I digress.

The old 2nd was a far more competitive district. We can thank the aforementioned congressional Republicans for allowing Baldwin to swap a bunch of Republican farmland for the City of Beloit in redistricting. Thanks guys. God forbid we keep the 2nd competitive by asking Jabba the Sensenbrenner or Paul Ryan to walk a few parades in order to get reelected.

Let's look at how Republicans have fared in the new 2nd district. Über-zealot Ron Greer scored 30% of the Dane County vote in 2002. Moderate-wannabe Magnum brought home 33% in 2004. Considering Greer's politics, it's probably safe to wager that 30% is the base Republican vote in the district. So in '04, Magnum only managed to do Base + 3%, not a very good showing.

For the purposes of this hypothetical, let's assume that in 2006, turnout in all 2nd District counties is proportionately equivalent to what it was in 2004. For Magnum to overcome his 33% showing in Dane County, he would have to rack up 86% of the vote in the rest of the district. Yeah, you read that right. 6 out of 7 voters in the rest of the district would have to support Magnum for him to make up the sheer number of votes cast for Baldwin in Dane County.

Even if we give Magnum the benefit of the doubt and give him 40% in Dane County (a 21% improvement over his '04 results), he'd still have to win 71% in the outlying counties, including Beloit. C'mon. That's not going to happen.

Why do you think John Sharpless, who lost to Baldwin by less than three points in 2000, hasn't bothered to try again? Probably because he knows that even he wouldn't have much of a chance in the redrawn 2nd District.

On the plus side, Magnum appears to be using the same colors and graphics as he did in 2004. That's a good cost saving move. Since the Magnum campaign only found 74 people willing to take a yard sign two years ago, he's probably got thousands of like-new signs stuck away in a garage somewhere.

So why is Magnum running? Personally, I don't know. But if I were to wager a guess, I think Dennis York is right on the money. So I'm going to save my breath and just tell you to read his post.

If you're thinking about giving money to Dave Magnum, do the Republican Party a favor and don't. Give it to RPW or the RNC or one of the gubernatorial candidates or a GOP-leaning 527 or better yet, send it to me. I'll open a Paypal account or something and keep track right here of all the money I've kept Dave Magnum from wasting. I'll put a little counter in the sidebar or something. It'll say

Dave Magnum could've wasted another
(INSERT FIGURE HERE)
running his stupid campaign
but you were too smart to give it to him.

And right below it I will have another counter, and it will say

The Supervisor has spent
(INSERT SAME FIGURE HERE)
since November 15th, 2005
promoting economic development
in the 2nd District
buying stuff with your money.

Battle of the Fiscal Conservatives: Ron Jeremy vs. The Sunday Coupons

Today, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports on DayWatch that former porn star Ron Jeremy is preparing to blow the socks off of Waukesha County taxpayers by saving them two dollars on next year's property tax bills.

Oh... wait. You say that's Dan Vrakas? Really? You could hardly blame me for being fooled by that mustache.

That's right, two bucks. It's exactly the kind of fiscal conservatism anyone in Madison could've told you you'd get from Dan Vrakas, a guy who looked away as state leaders sweetened pensions for public officials and has gotten more attention this session in the Legislature for arguing whether Macedonians were really Greek than arguing for any tax cuts.

I'm sure if Jim Dwyer has sobered up yet he's probably passed out somewhere right now from disbelief upon hearing this news.

Congratulations, Waukesha County. Don't spend your savings all in one place.

Just to put Vrakas' feeble effort into context, I thought I would put him up against an opponent that's in his league when it comes to providing taxpayers with savings: the Sunday coupons. That's right, here's what you get from Dan Vrakas versus clipping a handful of coupons from the Sunday paper for one week:

Dan Vrakas: $2.00
Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick: $3.00
Winner: Revlon, by 50%

Dan Vrakas: $2.00
St. Ives Apricot Scrub: $1.00
Winner: Push. If you also buy St. Ives lotion and body wash, you can save an additional $2. But that's a significant outlay on St. Ives products, hence the draw here.

Dan Vrakas: $2.00
Renuzit Airlets: $2.00
Winner: Push

Dan Vrakas: $2.00
Garnier color products: $3.00
Winner: Your hair. You'll save an extra buck and you'll look fantastic!

Dan Vrakas: $2.00
Sunday morning breakfast for the family, consisting of Hungry Jack pancakes ($.55), Jimmy Dean sausage ($1.00), New England coffee ($1.50), Florida's Natural Orange Juice ($.50), Pillsbury Grands biscuits ($.30), and 8th Continent soymilk ($.50): $4.35
Winner: No contest. Dan gets doubled up and then some.

Now, granted, I'm sure some of you will say that you've got to start somewhere and that Vrakas came into the budget process late in the game. But really, that's just a Mad Lib. Dan Vrakas _____(insert excuse here)_____ . The guy saves you two bucks and does it by taking a bunch of dollars from a public safety project. What kind of accomplishment is that?

Jim Dwyer's budget would've cost you an extra two bucks. Clipping coupons will save you more money than Dan Vrakas. That's how little Dan Vrakas matters to the wallets of Waukesha County taxpayers.

Here's hoping that Dan figures things out before his stint as Waukesha County Executive is written off as a bigger blunder than the Souter nomination.

Avery Redux and Author's Notes

What can I say about the first three days? It's not every day that you create a blog and get linked by Charlie Sykes and Dennis York in the first 72 hours. Really, I'm flattered that you think I have something worthwhile to offer. Or, at the very least, that I have great photos of Mark Gundrum and the Governor with an accused murderer. By the way Mark, any hopes you ever had of someday being attorney general just got flushed down the toilet. Sorry about that. Good thing for you that those elections for Caucus Chair happened before this story broke, huh?

By the way, for those who are interested, I have upgraded the photos in the original post. They are now restaurant-quality, suitable for framing - so you too can be your own Todd Rongstad and run smear campaigns against those depicted in the photographs. Who knows, maybe someday we'll be muttering the names Jim Doyle and Mark Gundrum right along with Lee Meyerhofer and Sarah Waukau.

Why did I post those photos? Well, my friends, the better question is why not? Look at Steven Avery's record in my original post. Forget the rape charge and the 18 years in jail. Politicians are suckers for easy press, and that's what Steven Avery was to these guys.

Garey Bies spent thirty years in law enforcement. He was a Deputy Sheriff in Door County. Jim Doyle spent three terms as District Attorney and three terms as Wisconsin's Attorney General. What were you guys thinking when you stood next to a man who was found guilty of threatening to abduct the wife of a police officer with a rifle? There had to be something awfully alluring for you to completely ignore Avery's background and stand up at that press conference. If you pose for a picture with a convicted felon, you damn well better be able to look your constituents in the eye and explain why you're buddying up to a felon - especially one that threatened a cop's wife with a gun. I don't think that's too much to ask at all.

While many have been put in the crosshairs over this interesting turn of events, I think it's wrong that some are attempting to somehow impugn the Wisconsin Innocence Project for what happened with Avery. Whether Avery was indeed guilty of sexual assault in 1984, we may never really know. Certainly there is scientific evidence that appears to strongly implicate another individual. But we don't determine innocence in court. Rather, we determine whether there is sufficient evidence to meet a particular burden of proof as to whether a person is guilty or not.

We don't keep people locked up in this country for crimes we can't prove just because we think there's a chance that, if released, they might commit a crime in the future. If DNA testing had been done in the original case, there's a good chance Avery would never have been found guilty. Is it possible he would've murdered someone during the course of those 18 years he was imprisoned? Who knows? Did those 18 years in prison make Avery the kind of person who would kill a person in cold blood? Who knows? It's sure not a valid defense in my book. Some think that prison was the only thing that kept this from happening sooner. That might be true, but it doesn't make it an appropriate use of incarceration.

Jessica McBride shares my opinions on the innocence project. I am linking to her website even though she totally stiffed me in her Sunday post by sending people to Dennis York's website for what is mostly my handiwork. Okay, fair enough, Dennis made a great burrito joke that I missed. Now, I know I'm the new guy Mrs. Bucher, but I'd like to lobby for space on the prestigious Blog Scoop Gallery. C'mon, these holy pictures are surely more newsworthy than a lot of what you've got up there - like for instance, stories about elderly conservative wackos in Wauwatosa trying to prevent Victoria's Secret from selling anything other than granny panties. I believe you cleverly dressed that up as "Tosa Mayfair Mall Obscenity Complaints." Give me a friggin' break. Old people have been complaining for generations about what those blasted kids are wearing. That's like calling "Sun rises in east, sets in west" news, or "President adds agentive ending to 10,000th verb."

Finally, a brief note about the author of this blog. I've never met Dennis York, nor do I know him/her/it, but Dennis is one of my inspirations for blogging. There are lots of intelligent people who unfortunately elect to be nothing more than a shill for their party. By telling people that everything the Republicans do is evil, or that everything the Democrats do is destroying the moral fiber of our country. At least half the time, those people are full of crap, and they're full of crap because they get paid to be full of it. And I think that's a load of garbage. I think it's ridiculous that we give voters a pile of partisan spin from both sides and then expect them to dig for the truth. The David Brooks quote on York's website is fantastic, so much that I'll borrow here:

I think one of the main problems with punditry and politics is the idea of team spirit - that people feel they are on one team or another, and that they have to do what serves that team. And that is the death of honest thinking.

Indeed it is. And that's what this blog will aspire to: honest thinking. A freedom to praise what should be praised and criticize what should be criticized, regardless of whose mouth it comes from or what party they belong to. If you disagree with the thoughts expressed here, more power to you. But disagree with those thoughts because you disagree and not because it's what Republicans believe or what Democrats believe. It is individual beliefs that make the party. Too many people get that backwards these days. Have the courage to question constantly and do something most of your legislators rarely do: think for yourself.

Because that's what political discourse in a democracy should be.

The least they could do is pose an interesting question

On Friday, the Green Bay Press-Gazette reported that residents of Brown County - okay, two residents of Brown County, four tops - are circulating petitions in support of an advisory referendum this spring on the war in Iraq.

The proposed question would read as follows: "Should the United States begin an immediate withdrawal of its troops from Iraq starting with the National Guard and Reserves?"

It's great to see that the fine citizens of Brown County are so enthralled with the topic of military strategy. Not only do they want to withdraw the troops, they also want to specify to the Department of Defense the order in which the troops are withdrawn.

Perhaps what Brown County really needs is to ban the sale of Risk. Clearly there are some 32-year-old, never-been-laid, backseat generals in Northeast Wisconsin that believe their skills playing board games in their mom's basement warrant a bigger audience.

On the upside, their moms have made them leave behind their basement battles over Kamchatka long enough that they know to call it Iraq and not just "Middle East." On the downside, I've heard that the referendum crusade began only after the circulators were informed by the Brown County Clerk that rolling a bunch of 37-sided dice was not an acceptable method of determining an outcome in real life.

But as long as they're at it, here are some other questions that I'm sure the world would love Brown County's thoughts on:

"What do we think, Green Bay? Time to tell the women that big hair went out in the 80's?"

"If the Green Bay Packers were to suddenly leave town, what would we talk about all year?"

"Mullets. Why are we still wearing them? This includes she-mullets."

"Should the Green Bay Packers have official cheerleaders again? If yes, do we want them to be like the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders?"

I'm pretty certain the world would be more interested in knowing the answers to these questions than what the 11 percent of Brown County residents that will actually vote in the spring election think about the war in Iraq. Especially that mullets question. Brown County might be a little short of expertise on war planning, but it knows a thing or two about mullets. And anyone who's been through Green Bay knows exactly what I'm talking about.

One flu over the cuckoo's nest

Well, I'm sleeping easier tonight. The State Legislature and Gov. Doyle can't seem to make any progress on making health care more affordable for Wisconsin families. They haven't lifted a finger so far to provide help with gas prices or the enormous home heating bills looming in the not-so-distant future. But you should rest easy too. They've got bird flu under control.

The Speaker today put out a release today naming the rest of the members of the Avian Flu Task Force. No, I'm serious. We have a task force on bird flu.

I suppose I was mistaken in thinking that the World Health Organization (WHO) or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) could handle this. Apparently they can't get the job done here in Wisconsin without the help of noted bird flu experts like Kitty Rhoades, Amy Sue Vruwink, and Brett Davis. I'm sure the scientists at the CDC breathed a sigh of relief when they heard about this monumental breakthrough. Hell, they're probably all on vacation now that they know Marlin Schneider is on the job.

This is a classic example of bait and switch politics. The Legislature has accomplished little to nothing this session on issues it actually has control over - health care and school finance come to mind immediately. Mindful of its inadequate record, Assembly leadership will try to distract voters by "solving" a high-profile "problem" that it has virtually no control over - in this case, bird flu.

What ever happened to West Nile virus? Weren't we all supposed to be dead of that already? We must have been spared because so many states formed West Nile Task Forces to draft legislation. Or maybe it's just that politicians, having scored all the points they could out of that entirely manufactured crisis, left it behind and moved on to the next crisis du jour. West Nile is still out there, and it's still posing the same old non-threat of mass extinction it always was.

As of November 9, the WHO had confirmed 125 cases of bird flu since December 2003. That's about one case every five days. Worldwide. All over the planet. Nobody in Wisconsin has died of bird flu. Oh, but they could.

What's next? The Speaker's Task Force on Kitchen Mishaps? Stairway Falls? Zombie Attacks? Lightning Strikes? You're way more likely to die of any of those than you are of bird flu. So maybe the Legislature should get back to working on actual problems instead of groping blindly for press.

Stand by your man.

The framework for this blog has been in the making for awhile. In the coming days, you'll get to see more about what the Playground is all about. But there's real potential for these photographic gems that have been donated to me by a kind source, so I want to get these out there. Hey, everyone needs to start their blog with a splash, right?

Below, you'll find pictures of certain media-hungry Wisconsin politicians posing for holy pictures with Steven Avery. As many of you know, Avery was released from prison in September 2003 after DNA testing brought into question the validity of his conviction on charges of sexual assault in December 1985.

On Thursday, Teresa Halbach - or what was left of her - was found on property owned by Avery's family. Blood was found on the property and in Ms. Halbach's vehicle, the keys to which were found in the bedroom of Avery's home on the property. Today, Avery was charged with Halbach's murder.

While politics is filled with unintentional humor, there is nothing funny about Ms. Halbach's death. Her needless and unnecesary passing is tragic and a shameful waste of human life.

A message to Messrs. Gundrum, Doyle, Bies and Zien. Oops. Maybe those holy pictures aren't so holy after all.

I think the pictures below will look absolutely stunning on the campaign materials distributed by your opponents. It's not everyday someone can actually circulate a photo of a legislator (or governor) voluntarily posing with a man who may have committed one of the grisliest crimes this state has seen in recent history. I hope my little corner of the web can help your opponents to get the content they need to run effective compare/contrast ads. After all, as incumbents you all have staff who devote a lot of taxpayer-funded time to making you look good. It's only fair that someone throws your opponents an occasional bone.

You were proud to stand by Avery just months ago when creating legislation to reform Wisconsin's criminal justice system. Surely you made an assessment of this man's character before agreeing to stand next to him and talk about how the system wronged him. Surely you thought that he was telling you the truth when he told you that he didn't rape that woman. Avery has been a fine, upstanding, law-abiding citizen for his entire life. Oh, wait...

March 1981: Avery is convicted on two felony burglary charges.
September 1982: Avery is charged with cruelty to animals for setting a cat on fire. Yeah, you read that right. He set a cat on fire.
January 1985: Avery forces the wife of a Manitowoc County police officer off the road and points a rifle at her. Sentenced to six years in prison for endangering safety and possessing a firearm after a felony conviction.
September 2004: Avery is charged with disorderly conduct.
November 9, 2005: Gasp! The felon is possessing firearms again.
November 11, 2005: Charged with the murder of Teresa Halbach.

Avery has been out of prison hardly more than two years, and now is on the precipice of being convicted of one of the most horrific and brutal slayings that Wisconsin has ever seen. If you won't stand by him now, well, that says one of two things:

1. You are horrible judges of character, and surely anyone who misjudges a person that badly cannot be entrusted to do the will of the people or to hold a leadership position in the State Legislature.
2. You are shameless media whores who never really cared about Steven Avery and simply used him as a visual aid to get yourselves on television, on the radio, and in the paper.

Take your pick, gentlemen. Steven Avery is your buddy. Which is it?