Per Diem Piggies

That's right, the annual Per Diem rankings are out. Once again, the Assembly and Senate rankings bear out some interesting points.

Legislators are given laptop computers for use by the Legislature. They can connect to the state's network from those computers while at home. They can establish a phone line at their residence for legislative work and bill it to the state. They can also bill a cell phone to the state provided it's used for legislative business. Save for session days, committee hearings, and budget work, there's little excuse for an outstate legislator to ever be in Madison. Ever. But dangle the prospect of $88, tax-free, in front of their snouts, and many of them just can't resist.

To save you from mining through the data, I'll present some of the highlights (and lowlights) of this year's rankings.

• Marlin Schneider once again proves to have the biggest snout of all. We're not sure what else Marlin has learned during his lengthy legislative tenure, but he sure has learned how to game the system. Everyone inside the Beltline knows that Schneider has lived in the state capital for ages and commutes to the Capitol from his home in Madison. However, Schneider continues to claim per diem as though he's actually living in Wisconsin Rapids. The difference? Well, look at it this way. Fellow Dane County resident Joe Parisi took $6,688 in per diem for 152 days of work. Schneider took $13,464 for 153 days. That sound you hear is Wisconsin taxpayers getting screwed out of $6,800 each year for decades. Gov. Doyle could pay for nearly all of his State of the State spending projects if only Marlin would give back the money he doesn't really deserve.
  

• Speaking of Dane County representatives, Gary Hebl's favorite constituent, John Gard, clocked in at 103/$9,064. Yeah John, you're from Peshtigo. We know.
  

• Donna Seidel (140/$12,320) and Joel Kleefisch (133/$11,704) deserve our scorn for being the prime porkers of the freshman class! You're rubbing shoulders with veteran hogs up there!

• Joan Ballweg deserves credit not only for being a promising freshman legislator but also for showing a remarkable display of fiscal restraint when compared to some of her colleagues. While Ballweg lives in Markesan, she claims only the $44 extended to Dane County legislators. Ballweg's frugality saved Wisconsin $4,532 last year. Way to go, Joan. Here's hoping you can convince a few of your colleagues to practice what they preach as well Maybe you can start with your senator, Luther Olsen (146/$12,848), who finished third on the Senate side to Dave Zien and Roger Breske.

• While he's sometimes a target here on the playground, thanks to Tom Reynolds (108/$4,752) for also employing Ballweg's strategy. Of course, he's now wasting all of that savings on a unique arrangement through which conservative wacko J.J. Blonien receives $19,000 a year plus benefits to work from home. Why exactly Blonien is getting paid to watch The View is beyond me. So when all is said and done, Reynolds actually loses a point on this one. He just can't do something right without completely screwing something else up.
  

• Congrats to Mark Miller (48) and Dan Kapanke and Polly Williams (62 each) for billing the fewest days to the state.

• Terry Musser and Mark Pettis billed a combined 291 days to the state, though we're not sure what for, exactly.

• TABOR... er, Wisconsin Taxpayer Protection Amendment advocates Jeff Wood (139/$12,232) and Frank Lasee (127/$11,176) can't manage to get out of the top third of Assembly porkers. Those leather office chairs in Madison sure are comfortable! Funny how those who talk so loudly about downsizing Wisconsin's government are busy supersizing their paychecks at the same time.
  

• Jim Kreuser claimed only 82 days, though as Assembly Minority Leader, he's working a lot harder than some of his colleagues much further up the list.

Readers, want to do something fun and interesting? Call your legislator and ask them how long they require themselves to stay at work before taking their per diem. Because some of them literally drive in to the Capitol, visit their staff for five minutes, and count that as work. A few of them don't even bother to leave their vehicles, as though merely waltzing onto the Capitol grounds in their car entitles them to their money.