Monday, September 11, 2006

And on a lighter note...

The conservative-leaning (and often funny) website IMAO posted a list of ways that all Americans (but wingnuts in particular) can work to ensure America's safety:

FRANK IDEAS TO HELP FIGHT TERRORISM

* Stand outside a mosque and do the “I’m watching you” hand signal to anyone entering or exiting.

* If you see anyone who looks Arab on a flight, report it to the captain.

* Wear a “Terrorists should die; ask me why” button. (available soon from the IMAO store)
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* Report any suspicious, terrorist-like activity – such as reading the New York Times – to the FBI.

* If you run a restaurant, make sure all items have bacon in them to keep away terrorists.

* When visiting neighbors, check their bookshelves for a Koran. If one is spotted, immediately flee and call the police.

* If you hear someone speaking French, punch him in the face. Speaking French may not help terrorists, but it sure seems like support of terrorism.

* When leaving a parking lot, checks underneath your car and the cars next to you for a bomb. If you see anything you don’t recognize, leave a note on the person’s car saying, “You have a bomb.” Make sure to put a smiley face on the note since you’re being helpful.

* If you see a reporter, beat him with any nearby blunt object. He was probably about to do a news report that would embolden terrorists.

* If you see a terrorist, kill him.

There. I know I feel safer now.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny... and yet you are an ass-hole.

The Recess Supervisor said...

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just reminding everyone of what conservatives appear to find humorous. Because after all, Muslim jokes are always in good taste.

Also, I believe that "asshole" is simply compound, and not hyphenated. Just trying to help you effectively hone those rhetorical skills.

 
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