South Carolina's gotta be proud...

What in God's name does this even mean? I'm guessing this answer didn't help her win the Miss Teen USA "scholarship contest." Slater there could've gotten a better answer out of Kelly Kapowski. The smirk on his face while she's answering is priceless.

If it helps to see it in print...

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us."

Personally, I believe she misheard the question and thought she was asked to simply recite 75 words randomly from the English language. But regardless, she's still hot, and that's what these things are truly about - parading a bunch of barely-legal ass across America's television screens so we can continue our ridiculous genuflections at the altar of youth.

(The correct answer, courtesy of digg.com: "Many Americans are savagely ethnocentric and even if they were faced with the knowledge that they couldn't find their own country on the map they wouldn't care because they're already here and don't give a damn about anyone else anyhow.")

Another HUGE moneymaker for the UW Press

I hear Barnes & Noble is opening at midnight tonight to sell copies. Everyone is encouraged to dress up as their favorite legislator, past or present. Which, of course, means I'll be there with 28 wristwatches on my right arm and a big green license plate around my neck that says "PANDER".

If anyone actually reads this and wants to submit a book review, let me know.

Is prison the new black?

First, Paris goes to the hole and then goes on Larry King to talk about how it changed her for the better. Now, Lindsay Lohan's dropping in for a day. Nicole Richie popped in for an hour and a half.

Is prison the new rite of passage for obnoxious celebrities? And if so, are they managing to create a scenario in which the public doesn't want to send them to jail because it's what these celebutantes want? Is this some kind of reverse psychology?

Teen Christians campaign against pop culture

So says CNN. For a audiovisual summary of the article, please click below.

Conference, Day 8

(If something happened, I would have written about it here.)

Playground Flashback: Bob Jauch is the poster child for everything wrong with the Wisconsin Legislature

In April of last year, fellow blogger-in-the-shadows Ragnar Mentaire wrote a hilarious (and all too true) indictment of Bob Jauch on his own blog, I AM THE FORCE.

Now people are welcome to do whatever they want in their private lives, but Jauch is one of the over-the-top legends at the Inn on the Park bar and the rooms above. And falling down the steps at Genna's Bar tangled up with the also legendary Jolene Plautz has to be one of the defining moments of the modern political era. One has to wonder if this lifestyle is the reason this blowhard is still here. Party time in Madison must be a lot more fun for him than watching satellite television from his home in Poplar. The brain cells killed, however, might have something to do with the undistinguished nature of Jauch's long tenure in public service.

As a good lobbyist friend of mine says repeatedly, "Bob Jauch is a fraud in the first degree." He poses for political holy pictures and blames the opposition and blows smoke every day to obscure the reality of his nothingness. He's a joke to colleagues and lobbyists alike, and only the "he's in office" code of silence allows him to fly under the radar. He always scores near the bottom in insider rankings of state legislators. If you've worked with him or seen him in backroom negotiations then you will inevitably discover that he's not someone that can be relied upon to keep his word or solve a problem. And he's taken angry and insecure immaturity to new heights.

Great stuff. Just great. Read the rest here.

Stewardship and the Republican dilemma

Yesterday, during a discussion of the Stewardship program, Russ Decker managed to lay out the biggest problem Republicans have in this budget negotiation.

Cribbing from Greg Bump...

Rep. Fitzgerald said he would review the Dems' stewardship package, and said Republicans would explore a counter-offer. He also said he'd like a counter from the Dems on the GOP K-12 package.

Sen. Decker noted that that there may be a potential deal to be struck on stewardship.

"The oversight seems to be a bigger deal to you people than the level of bonding, so maybe there can be some type of talking going on there," Decker said.

Decker makes it seem as though the Democrats are willing to move on oversight in exchange for a bonding number more to their liking. This would be a good deal for Republicans if, ultimately, it wasn't such a bad deal.

The Republicans have fought to regain legislative oversight of stewardship ever since Governor Doyle cleverly removed it with his veto pen in the 2003 budget. As long as Republicans control one house of the Legislature, oversight provides a mechanism for Republicans to obstruct controversial purchases.

(Let's set aside the fact that in the history of Stewardship, I only need one hand to count the number of purchases JFC Republicans have blocked, and having done that, I will have fingers left over.)

So on the surface, one would think Decker's offer might not be a bad deal. He'd be giving the AssGOP something they've wanted for a long time. But in fact, Republicans have a electoral problem that makes the negotiation more complicated.

The overwhelming sentiment among those under the marble big top is that it's extremely likely the Democrats will take control of the Assembly in 2009. Even many AssGOP members will say as much, and countless AssGOP staffers are seeking jobs in the private sector or the administration before the reaper comes next November for over two dozen staff positions on Team AssGOP.

If the AssGOP cuts a deal with Decker on oversight, there's a better than average chance that it could all be meaningless in a year and a half. Stewardship oversight by a committee with 12 Democrats and 4 Republicans is like not having oversight at all - in which case, Decker and the Senate Dems will have successfully negotiated to have their cake and eat it too. They'll never even need to risk the political damage of giving oversight away again because they'll never block a purchase by the administration.

By offering up oversight, Decker is giving a way a lot in theory, and ends up giving away virtually nothing in fact. Such is the conundrum of the AssGOP. In order to protect its interests in the long-term, it has to negotiate this budget as though it is heading into the minority.

As long as the AssGOP stays in the majority, it can use oversight to block purchases and effectively reduce bonding totals. That'd make Decker's offer a win-win for Republicans. But if they lose the majority, Democrats will have a field day rubber-stamping even more stewardship purchases. That's a lose-lose for Republicans.

That Decker would float such an idea seems to suggest what he thinks of the Republicans' '08 prospects. How the Republicans approach Decker's suggestion could tell us all a lot about what AssGOP leadership thinks of its own electoral chances next November.

Scott Walker, freedom lover

So much for individual rights. Guess the smokers will have to go across the street now.

A more restrictive ban on smoking will outlaw smoking within 30 feet of all Milwaukee County buildings, a move aimed at dispersing smokers huddled around building entryways.

County Executive Scott Walker is to announce the new restrictions today.

Walker also will propose a change in county ordinances that would eliminate designated smoking areas in county buildings, including the courthouse and Mitchell International Airport.

The 30-foot no-smoking perimeter will be enacted through an executive order to be signed today by Walker, spokeswoman Fran Rudig said.

Conference, Day 7

I was traveling today, so I had to rely on Wisconsin Eye's archived footage. I perused a bit, and I'm going to give the day to the Republicans, for one reason and one reason alone.

Bob Jauch won't shut the hell up.

Seriously Bob, who died and appointed you the moral compass of the Legislature? You know, I disagree with Republicans enough, but I'd never be so ridiculous as to suggest that everything they do is immoral. You, Bob, sound like an absolute goof with all of your high-handed bloviating. If you don't have anything constructive to offer - which clearly you don't, as of late - just shut your mouth and sit there.

Some days you're on, and when you're on, you're pretty funny. But if your only contribution to the process is "wow, Republicans are terrible human beings," the process would work better without you.

Out of touch?

So Tony Snow is reportedly cashing out his chips at the GWB casino and returning to life in the private sector. Said Snow, "I'm not going to be able to go the distance, but that's primarily for financial reasons. I've told people when my money runs out, then I've got to go."

I don't have any problem with Tony Snow wanting to go back into the private sector and make more money. Undoubtedly, $168,000 a year is probably a large pay cut for Tony, who was previously responsible for spinning the week's stories on the Faux News Channel and filling a couple of hours on talk radio.

But maybe Snow should think about how badly that quote reflects on his boss. Snow gets paid to be the court jester for the White House press corps. A difficult job at times, sure, but hardly strenuous. For that, Snow makes $168,000 a year, an amount on which it is apparently impossible for a Republican to live a good life or support a family.

Tony's had some well-publicized health problems in recent years, and I certainly don't wish him ill. But I do wonder if this divorced-from-the-reality-of-the-average-American-and-I-don't-care attitude isn't part of the problem the Bush White House has had for years.

Conference, Day 6

You guys seriously aren't going to claim per diem for sitting around the table and doing nothing for a few hours, are you?

For the sake of everyone involved, maybe you should do this the old fashioned way. Go to Chuck Chvala's house, have a beer, and cut the deal. Then come back to the Capitol, hold your press conference, pass the thing out of committee, and be done with it.

While Wisconsin Eye would have to find some other captivating programming to run in your absence (may I suggest audio of old Gwen Moore/Alberta Darling JFC battles?), and while lobbyists would have to justify their existence in a manner that doesn't involve sitting in the JFC hearing room all day, at least you might get something done.

If it's such a tax hell in Wisconsin...

... why do so many people keep moving here?

Migration into Wisconsin documented in the department’s report echoes 2006 data from the U.S. Census Bureau. That report showed Wisconsin was the only state in the Upper Midwest to have more people move to the state than leave the state from April 2000 to July 2006. Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois and Michigan had more people leave the state than move to the state.

Special kudos to Juneau County and Chippewa County, whose populations increased by 11.8 and 11.6 percent, respectively. I just don't know how you guys managed to get so many people to move to the middle of nowhere...

Saved the cookie?

Midwest Air Group Board of Directors Unanimously Determines to Pursue $16 Per Share All-Cash Offer From TPG Capital

MILWAUKEE, Aug 12, 2007 /PRNewswire-FirstCall via COMTEX News Network/ -- The Board of Directors of Midwest Air Group (Amex: MEH), parent company of Midwest Airlines, today said that it has unanimously determined to pursue an all-cash offer from TPG Capital, L.P. on behalf of an affiliate of TPG and one or more partners to acquire all of the outstanding shares of Midwest for $16.00 per share.

Provided this gets past the feds, this is good news for anyone who travels enough to appreciate that Midwest doesn't suck ass like, oh, pretty much every other major carrier.

Midwest is, in some ways, a great embodiment of Wisconsin: the employees are nice, customers get treated like human beings, and sure, it might cost a little more than other airlines, but flying other airlines makes you appreciate that your money spent on a Midwest ticket is an investment in your own quality of life.

Man rents plane, tracks down stolen boat on highway.

Good for him. Sad that a victim of theft has to be his own best offense in recovering his stuff. Couldn't law enforcement have thought of this?

OLYMPIA, Wash. -- The owner of a stolen boat took to the air to find his $180,000 pleasure craft.

An hour and a half after Steve Boone rented an airplane and took off from Olympia Airport, he spotted the 34-foot boat, then followed it from above as it was towed along a highway until two people were stopped and arrested Thursday.

Conservative talk radio listener of the week

This week's award goes to Steve Graham of Pittsburg, Kansas, who hasn't let marital problems get in the way of listening to Rush Limbaugh. Graham moved out of the house in 2000, and into a 1989 Buick Century, which resides on cinder blocks in the backyard of the house he formerly inhabited.

Graham acknowledged that he watches TV, listens to music and sometimes sleeps in his blue, 1989 Buick Century. The car is parked on a concrete slab, mostly covered by a large, blue tarp that is secured with bricks and cinder blocks.

An extension cord from the house to the car provides power for a 13-inch TV, an oscillating fan and a radio.

"I get better reception there than I do in there," he said, pointing at the house. "I listen to Rush (Limbaugh) every day, just about."

Here's to you, conservative talk radio listener. But please, for your neighbors' sake, stop using the backyard as a bathroom.

Goodbye to the cookie?

The MJS is reporting that a sale of Midwest Airlines may be imminent, as AirTran CEO Joe Leonard has vowed not to renew its purchase offer when it expires at midnight. They're also reporting that Northworst Airlines may also be in the running, as it attempts to keep AirTran from developing a hub in the region.

To Northwest's credit, it's finally making an effort to hire enough pilots to fly the planes it already owns. But if I had to pick, I guess I'd rather see Midwest go to AirTran. At least it would increase competition in the Midwest market. A Northwest acquisition is almost purely defensive - it already has hubs in Milwaukee and Detroit. It's unlikely that they'd establish a third full-fledged hub almost within a one-hour flying radius of its other Midwest bases.

But since Midwest said that they're entertaining four offers right now, I will quietly hope against all reality that one of them is from Virgin America. Now that would be sweet.

Conference, Days 4 and 5

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Lowlights from Days 4 and 5:

• Mike Huebsch thinks a good way to start an honest discussion about taxes is by offering the Senate Democrats an opportunity to accept a proposal made up of nothing but AssGOP provisions. When that's your opening gambit, it's clear that you just want to spend the whole day posturing.

• Sen. Jauch and Rep. Kreuser land good blows in discussing the AssGOP's dramatic cut of the Homestead credit. Nobody on the Assembly side seems keen to talk about eliminating over $50 million a year in tax credits for low-income individuals. Go figure. It's like they authored it without actually wanting it to be included.
  

• More catfighting over Milwaukee. Screwing Milwaukee was clearly a preferred tactic in getting the AssGOP budget to balance. So of course, it makes sense that the Democrats want to talk about all of the Milwaukee items together, and the AssGOP wants to take up the items in the context of the agencies in which the provisions are included. I'm inclined to agree with the AssGOP approach. It makes more sense logically. What's next, otherwise? "The Beloit package?" "The Sheboygan package?"
  

• The Dems offer a UW package that consists of a bunch of JFC provisions and the AssGOP tuition cap. Interesting. It's certainly the item in the AssGOP UW proposals with the highest profile and would be the biggest winner politically for them. Gotta wonder if that offer's got an expiration date written on it somewhere in invisible ink.
  

• Mike Huebsch issues a press release attacking the Democrats for not rolling over and accepting that list of Assembly tax provisions. Kind of absurd, but about what we expect from the Speaker's media team.
  

• The Republicans start out Day 5 by responding to the Dems' UW offer with, logically, an enormous package of K-12 positions. A sure sign that the AssGOP just wants to chat some more today. Everyone's closing their ears and opening their mouths these days.
  

• Quote of the Day goes to Rep. Jeff Fitzgerald, who, in addressing concerns about UW spending concerns said "I thought our job was to kind of protect the taxpayers." Yeah, Jeff, that's why you're losing seats. You kind of protect the taxpayers, until members of your caucus want to roll out more tax breaks for businesses, at which time you don't care so much about what the average Joe has to pony up to make those credits happen. Everyone's on to it by now.

• Nurse Judy asks Huebsch about those cuts to public television and radio, more of the last-minute fun the AssGOP crammed into the budget to make the numbers work. Huebsch responds with some blather that's totally unrelated to what Nurse Judy asked him about. You know, Mike, at some point you're either going to have to cut bait on all those BS provisions in your budget (public tv/radio, the UW law school cut, homestead credit, I could go on but you get the point), or you're actually going to have to defend them. Good luck with that. Can't wait to see Kermit the Frog crapping on you at a rally in the Rotunda.

Winners this week: People who like to hear politicians of all stripes bloviate endlessly, contract lobbyists who are billing clients for those hours spent watching the committee.

Losers this week: Anyone who would like to see the conference committee get something accomplished.

Girl, don't go away mad... girl, just go away.

Amidst all the divisiveness in politics, here is something that sane, rational people of all political persuasions should be able to agree about:

Cindy Sheehan is a moron. And who cries when announcing her candidacy for Congress?

Thanks for reminding all of us how much worse the Democrats in Congress could actually be.

In celebration of the anti-hero

The media doesn't like him, in part because he doesn't seem to care much about the attention they give him.

Many fans don't like him because they think he's a jerk who broke the rules.

But I <3 Barry Bonds. In a world where the athlete somehow represents the embodiment of our own passions, our own childhood dreams, Barry Bonds is the protagonist who never wanted to be the protagonist. The guy who never wanted to be the lead in the school play. The guy who just wanted to go about his business and be left alone.

I don't often venture outside the world of politics here on the Playground, but I will for this landmark occasion, the breaking of Hank Aaron's home run record, in part because the story of Barry Bonds cannot be told without mentioning another prominent character, one from Wisconsin. A greedy, selfish idiot of a man who time and again put his own desires above the game he was responsible for protecting.

Sadly, the whole steroid scandal in baseball is not the doing of Barry Bonds. Rather, it is the responsibility of Milwaukee's own Bud Selig.

It was fantastic last week to see Gary Sheffield come out and publicly hand the commissioner's ass to him. In Friday's USA Today, Sheffield gave us the following gem:

"I'm sick of Bud Selig and Major League Baseball and the way they've been grandstanding" on the steroid issue, says Sheffield, who according to the San FranciscoChronicle told a federal grand jury in 2003 he did not knowingly use steroids but once had a working relationship with Bonds' trainer, Greg Anderson.

Anderson served three months in prison for distributing steroids and laundering money in the case examining the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative (BALCO), which made and sold legal nutritional supplements and illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

"Barry Bonds should be the face of baseball," Sheffield says. "Instead, Bud Selig is making him the face of the steroid era. It's the most ridiculous thing ever. Why doesn't Bud Selig tell the truth? Why does he keep lying and saying he doesn't know nothing about nothing? It's a bunch of hogwash. It's a cop-out. He knew everything (about steroids) we knew.

"Bud Selig wants to talk about the integrity of the game? To him, the integrity of the game is how much money they make. That's how far their integrity goes. I hope Barry not only breaks the record, but shatters it. The more homers Barry hits, the better, because that'll really p—- Bud Selig off."

Let's hop in the time machine for a second, back to 1994. It's Bud Selig's first year as acting commissioner, and he kicks things off with a bang by presiding over perhaps the darkest day baseball has seen since the Black Sox scandal: the cancellation of the 1994 World Series.

Baseball took a huge black eye over it, and the fans and the media alike wondered if the sport would ever recover.

And what was it that helped to save it? The 1998 home run derby between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa.

Now, perhaps Bud Selig was deaf back in the late 1980's and early 1990's, when opposing fans would routinely pelt Oakland A's slugger Jose Canseco with chants and accusations of being on the juice. Selig wants to suggest that he didn't hear anything of steroids being a problem in the 1990's, and he wants you to believe it.

Unfortunately for Selig, nobody is that stupid. Sheffield is exactly right. Bud Selig knew perfectly well what was going on. He could've led the charge against stopping this nonsense as early as 1994, when he took over as acting commissioner.

But Selig would do no such thing, especially after the strike. Those home runs were putting bodies in the seats. In '98, McGwire and Sosa put on a show that captivated America. And why would anyone who had a vested financial interest in the health and well-being of our national pastime want to get in the way of improving his own bottom line? Am I supposed to believe that Selig never contemplated, even for a second, that McGwire and Sosa might have been getting a little chemical assistance with their chase on Roger Maris' record?

Instead of valuing the integrity of the sport, Selig made a cold, calculated business decision. But who would expect differently? Bud Selig has always been in the back pocket of the league's owners. Whether it was flushing the '94 season down the toilet, or ignoring the use of steroids, whether it was calling the 2002 All-Star game a tie or creating a ridiculous rule that uses the All-Star game to determine home-field advantage in the World Series, Bud Selig has been a total disgrace to baseball.

Selig is like so many in politics, those who are obviously short on competence but are promoted simply because they are willing to carry the water and do the bidding for others. During the reign of Bud the Idiot and his daughter, Wendy the Terrible, the Brewers managed exactly one World Series appearance, and were absent from the postseason for 21 years before selling the team to Mark Attanasio, a beautiful day that meant I could finally cheer for the Brewers again. Selig's reward was being handed the keys to the national pastime by his fellow owners.

Of course, Bud only drives the car where they tell him to. He's nothing more than a glorified chauffeur.

It is, of course, no surprise that Selig used the occasion of Bonds' pursuit of the home run record to remind America of just what kind of Grade-A jackass he really is. Selig spent his time bemoaning the fact that following Bonds around was getting in the way of him doing his job, as though his Blackberry only works in Southeast Wisconsin and having to take a paid vacation out to California is the worst thing that could happen to a guy who works from behind a desk in Milwaukee, Wisconsin's very own Detroit in the making. When Barry tied the record on Saturday night, Selig acted like standing for the moment was a herculean effort. He promptly stuck his hands in his pockets and tried to stifle a yawn. Then he went back to Milwaukee and started firing off half-hearted press releases, congratulating Bonds in the most backhanded way possible.

So to those who want to hate on Barry Bonds for what he may or may not have taken, remember that the only reason it's even an issue is because Bud Selig cared more about his wallet and the wallets of his fellow owners than the integrity of the game. Even if you assume the very worst, Bonds was only doing what hundreds of his colleagues were already doing and what Bud Selig was passively condoning by refusing to take an active role in stopping it. But blaming the game is too big, too complicated for so many of you, so instead you try to pin the failings of the game on one person.

Like him or not, Barry Bonds is without a doubt the single greatest offensive player to ever set foot on a major league diamond. Need proof?

Sayeth Wikipedia:

Bonds holds the single season major league records for most home runs in a season (73), on base percentage (.609), slugging percentage (.863), career home runs (756), and walks (232).

Through the 2007 major league All Star Break, Bonds is the all-time major league leader in career walks (2,517) and intentional walks (675). As of August 7, 2007, Bonds solely holds the record for first in career home runs with 756, surpassing Hank Aaron. Bonds tops the list of career home runs in the National League, having eclipsed Aaron's previous record of 733. Bonds also ranks 2nd all-time in extra base hits (1,432), 3rd in both at bats per home run (12.9) and runs (2,212), 4th in total bases (5,936), 5th in RBI (1,981), and 6th in both on base percentage (.444) and slugging percentage (.607).

Through the 2007 All-star break he also led all active players in home runs, RBI, walks, intentional walks, on-base percentage, runs, games (2,860), extra-base hits, at-bats per home run, and total bases. He is 2nd in doubles (598), slugging percentage, stolen bases (514), at-bats (9,714), and hits (2,902), 5th in triples (77), and 8th in strikeouts (1,520) and sacrifice flies (90).

Bonds has also won a record seven MVP awards; his closest competitors trail with three. On July 1, 2007, Bonds was selected to his 14th All-Star Game. He has won 12 Silver Slugger awards, more than any other player, and eight Gold Glove awards.

Oh yeah, that's right. The eight gold gloves. Back before he was an old man, Bonds was an outstanding defensive player too. So strike that part about being the best offensive player ever.

Bonds might just be the best player ever.

So here's to you, Barry. Thank your teammates, thank the fans of San Francisco, thank your wife, thank your kids, thank your parents. They're the only ones who matter anyway. What does it matter if you don't always want to sign autographs or give interviews? That's your prerogative. Besides, the rest of these idiots will figure out someday 40 or 50 years from now just how great you really were.

Here's hoping you stick around for 800 - just for good measure. Just to piss Bud Selig off.

The awful stench of opportunism

If anyone ever wondered what kind of people the road builders are and how they play the game, well, this pretty much says it all:

Wisconsin Transportation Builders Association: Statement on Minnesota bridge collapse (8/2/2007)

For more information, contact: Pat Goss, (608) 256-6891

“Our thoughts are with the people of Minnesota as they wrestle with the enormity of yesterday’s tragedy. The failure of the I-35 bridge is a reminder that inspecting, maintaining and upgrading the transportation systems our families use and commerce depends upon requires everyone’s constant commitment.”

Not content to stop at the first sentence, the road builders would like to remind you that if you don't give them everything they ask for, your car might plunge into a river as well.

Stay classy, road builders.

Meanwhile, here is a far more prudent and balanced perspective, courtesy of Newsweek:

Zdenek Bazant, a professor of civil and environmental engineering at Northwestern University, says he suspects “fatigue” caused the collapse, fatigue simply meaning that repeated loads will weaken structures over time... Other famous bridge collapses due to fatigue are rare, he says, pointing to the last big fatigue failure at the Mianus River Bridge in 1983 in Connecticut and, before that, the Point Pleasant Bridge in West Virginia in 1967. “Now, after 24 years we’ve had probably about 50 people killed,” Bazant says. “Yes, we should invest in our infrastructure, but if we’re going to pour tons of money into something to save lives, we should notice that millions die in car accidents, not bridge accidents.” (emphasis added)

Day 3: The Empire Strikes Back

Judy Robson pumps her fist after today's fine showing by Democrats in conference committee proceedings.

Well, whatever ground the Republicans gained yesterday they coughed right back up today. Wisely, the Democrats brought Jon Erpenbach in to pinch-hit for Bob Jauch in discussing Healthy Wisconsin. Republicans countered by circulating a health care lobbyist's wish list of provisions that's masquerading as a health care plan, none of which will really reduce your costs any or make health care affordable if you don't have it just yet. But hey, it's 15 items long, and the Senate Democrats only have one item on their plan, so this one must be 15 times better.

Sen. Fitzgerald, in a bizarre moment that again made everyone wonder why anyone's letting him talk, suggested that perhaps the committee should consider whether to reduce or eliminate health care for legislators, pretending as though that's something he could get a majority of his own caucus behind. Yeah, right. Perhaps with the exception of Dan Kapanke, all Fitz has in his caucus are lifers. For most of them, this is their only job. And now he wants it to come without health insurance? Fitz, why don't you give me the names of everyone in your caucus who would be willing to do that and I'll post it here on my blog?

But the real action came later in the day, when Mike Huebsch's reprised the role of Major Major in Catch-22, throwing a total hissy fit after pinch-hitter Jon Richards pressed him on the Assembly's proposed changes to shared revenue. Now, logically, you'd think there'd be an answer to those questions, since one would ordinarily expect a budget proposal to be logical. But as we all know, the Assembly budget turned into a total grab bag of BS just to meet the oft-stated goal of no tax increases. So it's not really surprising that Huebsch's answer was that he'd have an answer next week. Nice. Who can blame Jon Richards for finding that answer unacceptable?

Huebsch also matched the Democrats' level of silly factor from yesterday when he couldn't bring himself to agree to accept an 80-item offer from the Democrats that included only items that were approved unanimously by the Joint Finance Committee. C'mon Mike. You appoint six members of that committee, they all voted for these measures, and now you're saying that their work isn't good enough for your caucus? Why don't you just stand up and say that your caucus thinks Kitty Rhoades and your other five appointees did a terrible job upstairs with the JFC budget process? You all but implied it today. "C'mon guys, can we give you 14?" Pathetic. Stop whining, show some faith in your own appointees to JFC, and just do the deal. Whatever you gained you lost and then some today. The Dems looked befuddled yesterday, but at least they didn't act like a juvenile brat. Yesterday I thought that maybe, just maybe, you had turned the corner. Boy was I ever wrong.

In short, a lot of talk, not a lot of action, timely cameos by Jon Erpenbach and Jon Richards, a hissy fit by Mike Huebsch, some more weirdness from Sen. Fitz, and Team Chvala finds its groove again. More fun next week.

Conference, Day 2

Here's your summary:

After some silly banter about setting an aggregate number for the budget, Huebsch handed the Democrats a list of 571 items that both sides have agreed to independently in their respective houses. The Dems stared at it like they didn't know what to do with it, as though the worst thing in the world would be to agree to a bunch of positions they already support. We're all treated to a flurry of barely cohesive talk from Bob Jauch, some head-scratching from Judy Robson, and some occasional prodding from Mike Huebsch to the effect of "okay, so does that mean you finally agree to accept all of these positions that you've already taken?"

Robson alleged that Republicans were "creating a problem where none exists," the Senate Democrats bumbled around for an hour, then finally agreed to the proposal.

Then the Senate Democrats asked for a recess, came back, and threw Healthy Wisconsin on the table. We're back for more fun tomorrow.

If day one went to the Democrats last week, the Republicans just evened up the score today. The Democrats were badly unfocused and terribly disorganized, and Mike Huebsch walked all over them.

Much to his credit, Huebsch is smart to get as many items off the table now as humanly possible. The Senate Democrats have made it clear that they think conference committee means getting to start from scratch all over again, and they want the ability to renegotiate pretty much anything in the document. That's terrible for Republicans, because everyone knows that when a Democrat wants to leave options open, the only option is to spend more money.

The problem at the table had nothing to do with the Republicans. The problem was the Democrats' unwillingness to just take off the table hundreds of little issues that were already agreed to independently. The problem was that Robson and her Democratic colleagues were handed a reasonable proposal and were so positively flabbergasted by it that they couldn't figure out what to do.

At the end of the day, the Senate Democrats sounded a bit like a petulant children in the middle of the living room, screaming "We want ice cream" over and over and over again. Look guys, we get that you think Healthy Wisconsin is a winner for you. We also all know that there's no way in hell you're getting it in this budget, and we all know that you all know that too. Even your governor knows it. The Assembly Democrats are so confident in their present electoral position that they're not going anywhere near it.

The situation that leaves the Democrats with is that on days like today, they look like the screaming kid, and they let Mike Huebsch and company come away looking like the responsible grown-ups. Democrats can't counter every Republican proposal with Healthy Wisconsin, even if they think it's the greatest thing ever. Republicans spent the day working on items for which consensus either already existed or was close. Democrats counter with something out of left field.

But I'm not just going to be negative. I'm going to offer the Democrats a constructive suggestion. Find as many excuses as you can to get Jon Erpenbach in Bob Jauch's seat at the table.

I get that Jauch is on Finance. I get that he's a senior member of the body. He's also the embodiment of everything that freaks moderates out about Democrats. He's an old, unapologetic, big-government liberal. His arguments aren't terribly cohesive and he's always looking for his piece of pork. He's the liberal boogeygman that Republicans love to scare voters with. His love of government is unmatched. Erpenbach seems to be the only guy you have that can craft an effective message and stick to it. Jauch rambles, Robson's contributions aren't stellar, and Decker just looked checked out today.

In other words, it's like Chuck Chvala took the day off and all his marionettes went limp and lifeless at the table.