Sure you want that shuttle ride?

Talk about ironic...

Oconomowoc - A business leader who helped launch a free shuttle program to prevent drunken driving is facing charges that he drove under the influence on a night the shuttle was available.

Robert John Manders, a used-car dealer who donated a vehicle for the shuttle service known as LIMOS, was arrested Dec. 13 while heading home from a Christmas party, according to a criminal complaint obtained Tuesday.

It would be his third drunken-driving conviction, following incidents in 1990 and 1999, if he is found guilty.

The Waukesha County district attorney's office alleges that Manders failed a sobriety test after he was stopped while driving a vehicle emblazoned with the shuttle program's logo. (emphasis added)

That, right there, is why you get rid of Brett Favre.

Nice sandlot football on that penultimate drive. Good to know that what will potentially be the last important play of Brett Favre's career was an absolute embarrassment of an ad hoc play call ending in André Goodman not even having to move his feet to intercept the pass.

For the game, 20 for 40, 233 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT's. On the year, 22 TD's, 22 INT's, and a QB rating that will put him in the bottom half of NFL quarterbacks.

Would this anonymous commenter from 4 1/2 months ago now like to step up and own his s@#$?

what kind of season do you smell for the Packers? Because I guarantee they would have won more games with BF than they will now.

Do you really want to tell me now that the Packers would've been better off with this undisciplined, Pop Warner-playcalling renegade? Would it have been better to have Favre instead of a guy who finished the year at 28/13, with over 4,000 yards and a Top 10 QB rating? Is it Aaron Rodgers' fault the Packers' defense is a mess and their special teams are sloppy?

Favre is undoubtedly a hall of fame quarterback. But here's hoping that Packers fans can finally figure out that, time and again, Brett Favre singlehandedly lost most all of the huge games he ever played in.

So now he can go home to Mississippi, ride the tractor around, go fishing, play catch with the high school kids, and probably jerk the Jets around until well after the draft, leaving them in total QB limbo.

Who's sad about missing out on that? Show of hands? Anyone? Anyone?

What a fitting way to end a career whose records are all based on longevity, and not his ability to win anything that mattered. Forgive me if I'd still take Joe Montana in the big game. Or Bart Starr. Or Johnny Unitas. Or Terry Bradshaw. Or John Elway. Or Troy Aikman.

Or now, even Chad Pennington.

Merry Christmas!

This year for the holidays I've decided to leave you an E-card. During the hustle and bustle of the holidays, you may have missed the dashboard video from Rep. Jeff Wood's (I - Doobie) OWI arrest.

Please enjoy.

OMG where will the teens go?!?!

CNN is reporting that as a result of our current economic restructuring, America's malls may be facing record vacancy rates. This will mean more mall closures, and more teenagers having to find an outlet for their insatiable craving of soft pretzels and frothy, orange flavored beverages.

Generally speaking, I hate malls. All of them. Perhaps it's just that I don't understand the concept of having a bunch of shitty, overpriced specialty retailers under one roof. Everywhere you turn, someone is trying to sell you some crap that you neither want nor need.

Let's take a look at West Towne Mall, shall we? Now, as we know, West Towne has spawned a whole Generican retail cluster#@$! in its vicinity, stretching down Odana and west on Mineral Point on past the Beltline. But let's focus on some of West Towne's offerings.

Claire's - A whole store devoted to trampy, cheap accessories for teenage girls.

Sunglass Hut - Want to overpay for some sunglasses? Look no further.

Abercrombie, Aeropostale, American Eagle, Hollister, Hot Topic - Do we really need all of you? American Eagle is a more casual version of Abercrombie. Hollister is a edgier version of American Eagle. Hot Topic is a trendier version of Aeropostale. Close three of them and the world wouldn't notice.

Coldwater Creek - It's like The Limited and L.L. Bean got hammered one night, and Coldwater Creek is the accident that came along nine months later.

Things Remembered - Ha. More like Things Forgotten. Who wants a crappy photo album with their name engraved on it? Yeah, didn't think so.

Assorted jewelers - Does West Towne need FOUR jewelers?

Brookstone - How long until this house of pointless innovation goes the way of Sharper Image?

And please, let's not get started on all those f@#$ing kiosks. Hand lotion, soy candles, personalized calendars, that one guy who's always flying that damn plane in a circle - who needs this garbage?

Keep the department stores, Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, Victoria's Secret, and Gap, and plow everything else under. How the world will survive without Software Etc., well, I haven't thought that out yet. But I'm willing to take a chance on figuring it out after the fact.

I Shoe-Shoe-Shoes You!

Say what you will about his policies, but I for one am proud to have a President who possesses such quick reflexes. Well played, Mr. President.

Cultivating that maverick image

Unfortunately for Rep. Jeff Wood, it looks like at least part of that image was cultivated with fluorescent light bulbs.

State Rep. Jeff Wood on Monday apologized for his "irresponsible behavior" last week when he was arrested in Columbia County for drunken driving, possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

Nevertheless, a tip of the cap to one legislator who understands that a fresh spin was needed on all these tired, leggie OWI stories. Thanks for keeping things fresh.

Madison Metro to fuel buses with pixie wings and fairy dust

Gotta love Madison:

Defying the wishes of Mayor Dave Cieslewicz, Madison's Transit and Parking Commission refused to raise bus fares to balance Metro Transit's budget next year.

After a three-hour discussion, the TPC voted 7-2 on Tuesday against any fare increase and asked Metro staff to develop alternatives to close a projected revenue gap next year.

"We'll have to figure out how we do that," Metro Transit General Manager Chuck Kamp said after the vote. "We have an approved budget and an approved fare that are in conflict."

Cieslewicz proposed raising Metro Transit cash fares 50 cents to $2 and making related increases for ticket packages and passes to raise at least $680,000 in nine months next year to improve service, add security at transfer points, boost marketing, build a reserve and cover shortfalls.

So, in other words: please find a way to generate substantial savings without increasing revenue or cutting service in a department where nearly all the operating costs are fixed and where significant labor reductions are not possible without reducing service.

Good luck.

I was once a frequent user of Madison Metro. I had a bus that took me directly from home to work. Sure, it doubled my commute time to 12 minutes or so from around 6, but for me, those six minutes were worth the seven or eight dollars I saved parking in the ramp. Considering I always had access to a UW bus pass (which is essentially prepaid), that was a guaranteed savings every day I didn't have access to my boss' parking spot or when the weather was too bad to bike.

But therein lies the problem. If you live further out than downtown Madison, Metro quickly becomes time inefficient. It was great for me - I never lived further west than Allen Blvd. But a trip from downtown to the west side will end up involving the dreaded transfer point and take about 40-45 minutes. That's a 15-20 minute drive. Especially with gas prices plummeting, nobody's itching to blow an extra hour on commuting to save a couple dollars a day.

Here's a map of Metro's weekday service routes. Nearly all of Metro's west side and east side service routes are buses that spend most of the their days roaming the streets of residential areas, desperately looking for riders.

Metro is a shuttle service for low-income folks, college students without cars, high school students, and people who live within a two or three mile radius of the State Capitol. Oh, and hippies. It's biggest problem is that Madison is too easy to get around in, and driving is too cheap. There are no major traffic issues in Madison. Parking, even downtown, is still very affordable compared to many urban centers. The only thing pushing people onto the bus was high gas prices, and that bubble has burst.

Transit systems are most heavily used when there are significant deterrents to private modes of transportation. And it's going to be a long time before parking spots are $300 a month or Madison's rush minute turns into an honest rush hour.

Until then, make sure those pixie wings are organic and from free-range pixies.

This is how you do it.

For everyone in Wisconsin who got their panties in an enormous knot over a couple of graphic artists putting together campaign literature on a state computer, Rod Blagojevich would like to teach you a thing or two about corruption.

You really should read the indictment. There's so much priceless stuff in here that I wouldn't even know where to begin quoting it. Although if I had to pick one spot, this would be it.

ROD BLAGOJEVICH said that the consultants (Advisor B and another consultant are believed to be on the call at that time) are telling him that he has to “suck it up” for two years and do nothing and give this “motherfucker [the President-elect] his
senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him."

ROD BLAGOJEVICH states that he will put “[Senate Candidate 4]” in the Senate “before I just give fucking [Senate Candidate 1] a fucking Senate seat and I don’t get anything.” (Senate Candidate 4 is a Deputy Governor of the State of Illinois).

Classy.

If stuffing fundraising mailers in a leggie office is your idea of corruption, Wisconsin, you're running the cleanest f@#$ing government in the nation.

Batting for the other team.

In a sign of just how wayward things are in the AssGOP, a veteran GOP leadership staffer has reportedly accepted a job working for the Democrats. This is perhaps the funniest thing since a former Lazich staffer went to work for Jon Erpenbach after reportedly being called "retarded" by her old boss. You know, the one that people around the building call "Crazy Mary."

Surely, some will scream RINO, but let's face it. As many AssGOP staffers are quickly learning, their job skills are fairly specialized (read: irrelevant) in the real world. Nobody's hiring Republican lobbyists. Things like bill drafting and committee clerking aren't super usable outside the Marble Bigtop. And the Republicans probably aren't coming back into power anytime soon. If you can improve your job security and maybe score a raise by trading your red jersey in for a blue jersey, more power to you.

Meanwhile, in other news, the AssGOP leadership continues to struggle in finding half-time positions for all the party girls and night managers at fast-casual restaurants. For those of us who were hoping for some signs of self-awareness and acknowledgment of past failures, the new AssGOP is off to a bad, bad start.

So this is what it's come to?

Check out this statement from RNC Chairman Mike Duncan, blowing himself for retaining a Senate seat in Georgia:

“When voters in Georgia reelected Saxby Chambliss to the United States Senate today, they selected a strong, conservative leader who shares their values and could be trusted to uphold the Republican principles of lower taxes and a strong defense. His reelection sends a clear message that the Republican Party and our core conservative principles are alive and well.

“Tonight’s victory was a team effort between the Chambliss Campaign, the Georgia Republican Party, the National Republican Senatorial Committee and the RNC. We combined a strong, conservative candidate in Senator Chambliss with a grassroots effort that leveraged technology to reach millions of Georgians via mail, phone, Internet, and in person. We shared our message of conservative principles and Georgians agreed.

“As we head into the 2010 cycle, tonight’s result sends a strong and confident message to those committed to electing candidates who stand by the core principles upon which our Party was founded.”

The very fact that Chambliss had to win this in a runoff shows what a pathetic job the RNC, NRSC, and the Chambliss campaign did leading into November. I love also how the second paragraph seeks to reassure people that GOP strategists do indeed know how to turn on a computer and manage a website. "Leveraging technology?" Good to hear you're finally starting to figure out the internets.

So yes, congratulations to the RNC for not losing a Senate seat in Georgia. I can feel the winds shifting in your direction already...

Liberal education agenda masquerades as news

From the MJS:

Wisconsin provides less need-based financial aid to students at public colleges and universities than some neighboring states, according to a new report.

"Measuring Up 2008," released today by the National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education, also found that while Wisconsin does well compared with other states in preparing young people for college and awarding degrees, the gaps between white students and minorities are among the largest in the nation.

The report gives Wisconsin an F in college affordability. It also gives 48 other states failing grades. The only non-failing grade is a C-.

So if Bob Dohnal issued a report card that said 98 out of 99 Assembly members failed to be batshit crazy enough for him, and gave Bill Kramer a C-, would we find that equally newsworthy? Or would we write it off as irrelevant ranting from someone who lacks any kind of substantive ability to evaluate issues objectively?

Just asking.

From the Department of Irony...

Next Monday's off-site AssGOP caucus - the one where they talk about all the naughty things they're not supposed to talk about in the building - will be held at Monona Terrace in the Hall of Ideas, Room G.

Since you folks in the AssGOP haven't had many good ideas in the last four years, here are some conversation starters for next week:

- Don't let a wildly unpopular staffer and his drinking buddies run your campaigns. It's hard to recruit talented soldiers when you have a general that most people don't respect and want to see fail.

- You need to stop blaming everyone else for your electoral trainwrecks. Even if not for Iraq and Wall Street, you'd still be in the minority right now. For a caucus that constantly harps about accountability, most of you refuse to accept any responsibility for your present condition.

- You're losing because you have no positive, forward-looking agenda to address the concerns of most voters where they're at. You're like a pitcher who consistently throws balls and blames the umpire for not moving the strike zone to accommodate him.

- Listening to all those Kool-Aid drinkers in Southeast Wisconsin has effectively turned your caucus into the party of Southeast Wisconsin. Need proof? Look at the map and see what being the party of TABOR and gay bashing has made you. Just six years ago, you had effectively run the AssDems out of Northeast Wisconsin and Western Wisconsin. Three cycles later and most of western Wisconsin is blue, as is Appleton and most of Brown County. You want to pull out of your tailspin? Find a way to put Leah Vukmir and Mark Gundrum on mute. Those dogs don't hunt outside the cul-de-sacs of suburban Milwaukee, seats you will always win.

- The electorate is changing, and you're trying to push the same message with the same strategies as in the past. Instead of adapting to new terrain, you continue to try and squeeze more and more votes out of an increasingly smaller portion of the voter pool.

Wisconsin certainly doesn't benefit from having in power a bunch of folks whose only ideas to fix problems involve spending more money. But at the same time, you need to convince voters that you've actually gotten the message. Losing over a dozen seats in two cycles isn't an accident.

This would've been great 10 years ago.

Ford, in an attempt to sponge up some government welfare, is rolling out a plan to bring its business model to where it should have been in 1998:

The company made commitments to speed up the introduction of hybrid and electric vehicles, and added that it believes the consumer shift away from light trucks towards more fuel efficient vehicles is permanent.

And Ford pledged to reverse the decades-long trend of losing money on the production of small cars in the United States. The company said it would increase the production of smaller vehicles such as the Ford Focus to more than 1 million a year and reduce the complexity of the car's parts in order to reduce costs.

Was it really that hard to see environmentalism coming as a consumer trend? Damn near every other business on the planet managed to adapt for it.

If this is all they've got, then please please please let Ford go bankrupt. Massive reorganization is the only thing that will help the Big 3 in the long-term. They need to overhaul their product lines and shed those ghastly labor expenses that make them uncompetitive relative to newer manufacturers.

I'm not blaming the workers for taking what are, by all accounts, bloated wage and benefit packages. After all, the Big 3 put them on the table for the union to accept. But Ford will never get back above water so long as it costs them thousands of dollars more to build the same car as Toyota.